Saving Me
by orgymoogle
Summary: Riku loved a boy before, but it turned out badly. Sora, the new kid, slowly helps him out of the rut he's gotten himself into, & as he does Riku falls for him. But as the two fall deeper in love, one can only hope it won't turn out like before.rape,mpreg
1. Chapter 1: A Broken Record

_Saving Me_

_Chapter One: A Broken Record_

**Prison gates won't open up for me**

**On these hands and knees I'm crawlin'**

**Oh, I reach for you**

It was an average day so far. I woke up, took a shower, got dressed, ate whatever food I could find in the house, and headed off to school. It was the end of Summer, which meant no air conditioning at my house, so most of the time I would have to hang out somewhere else that actually paid for air conditioning. Maybe I could find a bar with some idiot worker who secretly let kids "underage" inside...that would be cool. I had found some before, only I'd had to bribe them. Not always with money, of course, because I didn't have much of that. But there are other ways to get people to give you what you want.

Why didn't I have air-conditioning at my house, you ask? Cuz' my dad was cheap. All the time. Instead of spending his money on what he should be spending it on, he was always spending it on wine and cigarettes and stuff. Which I didn't completely mind, because I, too, profited from it. But still. More cool air in the Summer would be nice.

I'm not sure how he could stand it. Destiny Islands got pretty damn hot in the Summer.

I sighed as I neared the bus stop, but didn't stop walking. There was no point. It wasn't a school bus, it wouldn't take me where I (unfortunately) needed to go. Destiny High. Yup, that was my school. I'm not completely sure how it was possible for me to still be going there, since I didn't know of any work my dad did. Ah, well. Maybe it was one of those things that would go unanswered forever. I couldn't care less.

I glanced over at the people getting off of the bus and laughed mockingly when an old lady almost fell off of the steps. People gave me scolding looks, but I ignored them. Next some fat guy pounded down the steps, almost tipping the whole bus over in the process. Sheesh, how did people even get so fat? Next was a little boy, he looked about...about four years old. He climbed down the steps and hopped off of the last one, his parents waiting for him at the bottom. They looked relatively young....and happy. Hmph. Well, good for fucking them.

I turned my head and continued on at a faster pace, ignoring the many thoughts and memories that began to enter into my mind.

I reached the school shortly after, and eagerly pushed open the big double-doors that led to the inside. Finally, out of the heat! Walking to school always seemed like it took longer in the Summer. Especially when you were always walking alone with no one to distract you from the heat.

Why was I always walking alone? Because I...didn't really have any friends. Except for these two girls...but we were more like ex-friends-who-still-kinda-knew-each-other. Or something.

No one greeted me as I walked through the crowded halls and to my locker. The only greetings they gave were wary stares and secretive whispers to one another. And the occasional glare, sigh, giggle or squeel. There were always fangirls...and some fanboys, even. Although most people had labeled me as the "problem child".

And who am I? The name's Riku. Age seventeen. Not much to know about me except that I'm not the richest guy in the worlds, I live alone with a crappy dad because my mom ditched us and he can't get a new wife, I'm freakin' hot, and...well, let's face it, there's a whole hell of a lot more, but I'm not gonna go over it.

Anyway, I reached my locker, opened it and put in a few books that I wouldn't need till later. No reason I should carry all of that extra weight around. When I was done I turned and closed my locker, glancing at all of the other students. They were all very familiar to me; I had been going to that school for years. Most of them avoided my gaze, however, and pretended they didn't notice me. Hmph. Cowards.

The school bell rang before I could spot anyone to talk to, so I sighed and headed to class.

* * *

The rest of the day passed like normal, as well. I went to my classes, other students went to their's, and I didn't really talk to anyone. Not even the teachers. They never talked to me. Even _they_ were scared of me, except for ignorant newcomers. But it didn't take long for them to hear about me.

The weird thing was, I wasn't even sure what I had done. I mean...everyone knew about...what _happened_...but...that was years ago, and...was that really a reason to be afraid of me? Of course, I'm sure there were plenty of stupid rumors that had been going around for a while now. Maybe that was it.

When lunch finally came, teenagers all over the cafeteria were chatting animatedly and eating their food. My stomach growled hungrily. I hadn't had much to eat that morning--not that that was unusual. I felt starved.

My aquamarine eyes scanned the lunchroom area until they landed on two certain people. I grinned victoriously and raced over to them, eager to know whether or not Kairi had any food for me.

Kairi was one of my friends...or, well...we _used_ to be friends. I wasn't sure what we really were then. She was one of the few people at my school--hell, on the whole island--that talked to me, so...what do you call that?

We used to be best friends. We would hang out all the time, walk to and from school together, and...I think I actually had a crush on her a while ago. A long, _long_ while ago. But anyway.

Her friend--my former friend--Selphie, noticed me coming and offered a weak smile. I flashed her a small smile in return, but immediately turned my attention back to Kairi. The redhead was sitting very politely, and neatly ate her small salad. Pssh. What a total girl.

But hey, she _was_ Kairi.

"Got anything for me today?" I asked, and she looked up at me with curious violet-blue eyes. She just stared at me for a moment and then sighed, looking back down.

"Let me check," she replied, picking up her brown paper bag she had brought from home and checking to see what was inside. While she was looking I glanced over to Selphie and noticed that another brunette was sitting next to her. When my eyes landed on him my heart literally skipped a beat.

He smiled at me cheerily, those all-too-familiar cerulean blue eyes full of energy and curiosity. "Hiya," he greeted, waving to me. I didn't answer. I didn't even move. I just stood there, frozen.

Memories flooded into my head. They filled my mind with pictures and flashbacks of a certain blonde boy; laughing, smiling, crying, sleeping...I felt a strong pull at my hardened heart. The pain from the memories was immense and washed over me like a wave. It was suddenly hard to stand. Hard to think straight, because all I could think of was my past. And the boy in it. The innocent, one-of-a-kind teenager who...

The pain in my chest increased, and it was very difficult to pretend that everything was okay. Because it wasn't. It was confusing, it didn't make sense. It was like the world was trying to remind me of all of my mistakes. It was shoving them all back in my face. Torturing me.

And my broken heart, that had been twisted into a heart filled with darkness and webs of lies, pain and regret, and had been coated with blackness, began to break again.

"Oh! That's Riku," Selphie pointed to me, and then gestured to the boy beside her, "and Riku, this is Sora."

"Sora". "Sky".

I tried to reply, tried to do something. But I couldn't. There was a large lump in my throat, and I gulped down uneasily. The boy, Sora, was giving me an odd look, and all of a sudden I felt very nervous in front of him.

I blinked, trying to compose myself.

"H-hi," I said lamely, but I wasn't even sure if he heard it. Those eyes...that face...I didn't know how to react, what to do. What _was_ this? He looked exactly like...

"Sora's new here," Kairi spoke up suddenly, handing me a home-made PB & J sandwich. I took it slowly, hardly taking my eyes off of the boy. And as I continued staring at him, he seemed to grow tense under my gaze. He grinned nervously, scratching the back of his neck. I noticed out of the corner of my eye that Kairi was looking at me cautiously. I slowly turned my head to look at her and furrowed my brows in obvious confusion.

"Riku? HELLO!!" Selphie interrupted, waving her arms in the air for extra effect, oblivious to what was going through my head. However, Kairi seemed to know exactly what I was thinking.

"Selphie, stop making a scene!" Kairi scolded. I almost rolled my eyes. Selphie always wanted attention.

"Oops, sorry," the brunette girl giggled, and I turned my attention back to the teenage boy sitting next to her. His chocolate brown hair stuck out in every direction, and it didn't look like he had used any gell on it at all. No wonder there didn't seem to be any particular style. His spikes were spontaneous.

"What is it?" the brunette spoke abruptly, noticing me staring at him once again. I looked away, embarrassed.

"Uh, nothing." I turned away from him and waved bye to the threesome, sharing a knowing glance with Kairi before I walked away, sandwich in-hand. We would talk later.

"What was up with him?" I heard Sora ask when I was a little ways away.

* * *

The rest of the school day went by in a blur. I couldn't concentrate on anything except that kid I had seen at lunch. The boy who was sitting with Kairi and Selphie. .hell? Who _was_ that guy?

I managed to catch Kairi and Selphie walking out of school together and hurriedly went up to them. One look into my eyes told Kairi that she wasn't getting out of telling me. She said goodbye to Selphie, and although the brunette girl seemed confused, she let Kairi go with me.

We walked away from the rest of the kids and I turned to her abruptly.

"Who the HELL was that?" She didn't answer me, didn't even look me in the eye. I grabbed her arm, dragging her forward a few inches. She gasped in pain but I ignored it. "Well?!"

"I-I don't know, Riku," she replied quietly, trying to free her arm from my grasp. I held on tightly.

"You don't know? What do you mean you don't know? You have to know something!"

"I--" she stopped, trying to wrestle her arm out of my grip again, but failed. "Riku, let go! You're hurting me!" I let her arm go and impatiently waited for answers. "I just met him today, Riku," she said, rubbing the arm that I had been holding. "I hardly know anything about him. Just that his name is Sora, he's 16, and he's new in town."

"But he looks exactly like--" I paused, sighing defeatedly. "Like _him_..." Kairi's expression was full of sympathy when I looked back up at her. "What's his last name?" She shrugged helplessly.

"I don't know...I didn't ask him," she replied, and I furrowed my brow. Why hadn't she asked him? How could you meet someone who looked like that and not fucking ask them! "Riku," Kairi began again, cautiously, "you need to calm down. It may just be a coincidence..." she trailed off.

"It is so **not** a coincidence. People don't just look exactly like another person _coincidentally_, Kairi," I retorted, and she frowned.

"His hair was different..."

"This isn't a joke, Kairi! Its weird, its freaky, its--"

"I know its not a joke! I'm just saying, don't get carried away with this! We'll figure everything out, okay?" I didn't reply. I didn't know how. "Okay"? No. That simply wouldn't do. This wasn't "okay".

She didn't get it. She wasn't _me_. She didn't understand.

"You really need to let this go, Riku...its been two years since--"

"What?" I snapped, glaring down at her angrily. She gulped and then took in a deep breath.

"I'm saying you need to get over it. I know its been really hard for you, and its been hard for me, too. He was my friend, you know. But you need to stop wasting your life away sulking about it and _do_ something before--"

"You think I just sulk about it all day long? That's what you think I do?! You have NO idea, Kairi! You don't know what its like, you have no fucking idea! Do you know how hard I tried to get over it? And how fucking long I tried in vain to forget about everything that had happened?! You can just shut UP, Kairi. Because you don't even know what the FUCK you're talking about." I could tell that my words cut deep, but I didn't care. What the hell did she know? Nothing. She had no idea what I'd been going through.

Tears were forming in her eyes, and some people nearby who had heard me were glancing at us warily. I didn't receive a reply from Kairi until moments later.

"Fuck you." Her voice cracked, and she turned and left abruptly. Her fast walk turned into a run, and I watched her go as I stood there silently.

I was fuming. I wasn't sure when the last time I had felt like this was. I wasn't even sure what to feel anymore.

And you know what, maybe I did need to grow some balls and be a man about it, but I couldn't. I tried, and I failed. End of story. There was nothing I could do. I had tried to move on too many times. In vain. All in vain.

I stood there for a while longer before angrily stomping off. I wasn't sure where I was going, and I didn't really care. I just needed to go _somewhere_. Somewhere where it was cool and I could think clearly.

I cursed the hot weather. Damnit, what was up with this heat? School had started, it shouldn't have been so hot. Of course, it would be cooling down soon enough. At least a bit. We lived on an island, you couldn't expect it to get very cold.

Eventually I decided to just go to the island. The kid's island. It was seperate from the main island, and you had to take your own little boat to get there. You had to row, so I could take my anger out on the water.

I stayed there for a while, hung out on the paopu fruit tree that was bent so that you could sit on it, and whenever I got thirsty I could just drink from the small, fresh-water fountain that was there, too.

* * *

I woke to the sound of my alarm clock beeping. My eyes opened slightly and I banged the annoying machine hard with my fist. Moaning, I rolled over onto my side and closed my eyes tight, trying to fall back asleep. I lay there for a few moments in silence, and then sighed, opening my eyes.

As usual, I couldn't go back to sleep. I had a hard time doing so after being woken up in the morning. Unless I was especially tired. Which I was, but I felt too guilty to go back to sleep.

Last night after hanging out at the island I had gone back to my house. My dad was already drunk so I had locked myself in my room. But when I tried to go to sleep, I couldn't. Images of Kairi's beautiful, innocent violet eyes filling up with tears stained my memory, and I could hardly think of anything else. Videos of her frightened face as I yelled at her played over and over again in my head, like a broken record.

Hence causing me to stay up half the night. However, I did finally manage to fall asleep at 5:00 a.m.. But now it was 7:00 a.m., and I had to get up again. I was very tempted to skip school, but I decided I'd better not. Might as well not get detention, right? Not that I had anything better to do with my time...

I sighed again and sat up, trying to rub the sleep out of my eyes. I yawned tiredly and swung my legs over the side of my bed. I just sat there for a while before finally standing up and grabbing a clean pair of clothes.

After showering and getting dressed, I went into the kitchen. Although I knew my attempt would probably be in vain, I figured I might as well check and see if there was anything to eat. I checked all of the cabinets and the fridge and frezer, but I didn't find anything except outdated and/or rotten food. Sheesh, what in the world did my dad do for food? Did he actually eat that stuff? If I was lucky he did and would die soon. Then I could have all of his money and get out of there.

Not that he had a lot of money, but still. I might be able to do _something_. I mean, sure, I stole money from his wallet all the time (how else was I supposed to survive?), but...that was only enough for the occasional meal that I actually bought myself, or drugs. See, usually Kairi would bring me food for lunch at school, and that's what I would eat. Or, there were very, very rare times when we had a few scraps of eatible food in the house.

But I didn't think that I would be getting anything from Kairi that day. She had seemed pretty upset the other day after I yelled at her...

I sighed and grabbed my backpack, heading out the door defeatedly. Why did I always blow up like that? Why did I always get so mad and so upset? It wasn't her fault...it was mine. So why take it out on her?

I shook my head and tried to stop thinking about it. Thinking about what I would do if I had a bunch of money kind of got my mind off of it...for a little while, at least.

I reached the school shortly--we only lived a few blocks away--and went to my locker. I finished quickly and searched through the crowds of teenagers for Kairi or Selphie...or that other kid. Sora.

I couldn't find any of them, and dropped my head in defeat. I raised it again moments later to look at the clock. I had made a subconscious point to get there early so I might get the chance to talk to her before school actually started, but it didn't look like I was going to get the chance to.

I decided I might as well head to my class. Maybe I would bump into one of them on the way there. I walked slower than usual, and other teens flew past me annoyedly. Some of them looked like they wanted to knock me out of their way. And I didn't blame them.

Heh, most of them probabaly would if they didn't know who I was.

And you know what, that didn't make sense to me. Why were they all afraid? Kairi and Selphie both felt sorry for me, at least to some extent, but it seemed like everyone else was angry with me.

* * *

It was lunchtime again. I gulped as I entered the cafeteria, knowing that I would see Kairi "ignoring" me or something stupid. I spotted the three brunettes--well...really only two, but Kairi's hair kinda counted because her hair was more of a red-brown than just red. Anyway, I spotted them at the same table they always sat at, and saw the extra addition to their little group, as well.

I walked up to them slowly and cautiously. Kairi didn't turn her head to look at me, and neither did Selphie. It seemed they had also encouraged Sora to do the same, however he failed and eventually greeted me with a smile.

Wait--he was smiling at me? But...I had acted so weird yesterday. Huh. Whatever, I guess. Maybe he was just a happy person.

_Obviously,_ I scoffed at myself mentally, but tried not to get lost in thought. Kairi and Selphie chatted animatedly and pretended not to notice me, but I didn't care about them at that moment. All I could think about in that instance was the similarity of those cerulean eyes, gazing into mine...

And then I heard his name. It almost looked like he had been the one to say it, his mouth hung slightly ajar, but then he looked curiously over to Kairi who began talking to him. No doubt trying to distract him from me.

Well, I could always try saying something to her, but...I wasn't sure she would say anything back. Why make myself look like an idiot in front of the new kid, right? I turned, like a coward making up excuses for himself, and left.

She would probably forget about it in a couple days or so. She just needed some time to cool down.

The next four hours for me were spent in hunger and boredom and need. Hunger because I hadn't eaten anything that day, boredom because school is just all around boring and I couldn't focus (yet again) on any of the lectures or homework assignments, and need because I really needed answers. Answers about this Sora kid.

Everyone in the worlds looks different. There were no exact look-alikes except for twins. But he hadn't _had _a twin.

...Maybe this was just some kind of sick joke. Maybe Kairi and Selphie were testing me in some weird way. But why would they...okay, now I just sounded stupid. I was just so confused. So...

...afraid. Yes, alright, I felt kind of scared. It was freaky. It was almost like I was seeing a ghost. But that was impossible, ghosts weren't real, right?

The final school bell rang and students rushed out of their classes hurriedly, me being one of them. I exited the school as quickly as possible. My eyes searched around for Kairi or Selphie or Sora, just in case it mattered, and I saw them in the distance, standing in front of some bushes. They were all talking, and I watched them silently. I didn't go over to them, and I wasn't really sure if I wanted to. So I stayed put.

But Sora must have felt someone's eyes on him, because he was suddenly looking straight at me. Those haunting, yet beautiful, eyes stared straight into my own.

He smiled at me and waved, and Kairi and Selphie looked over to me as well. Kairi's eyes did not linger on me for long and she quickly turned her head back to face Sora. Selphie followed suit, however Sora looked at them confusedly. I watched carefully as he seemed to be asking them something, but it looked like Kairi was shrugging it off. I shook my head and turned to leave when I suddenly bumped into something.

"Oh, hey! Sorry about tha--" the thing I had bumped into said, but stopped mid-sentance. I looked up and saw a very familiar blondie with a strange mullet hairdo. "Oh, Riku." He blinked and then smiled nervously. "Hi." I nodded my greeting, offering a plain 'hey' in return.

Demyx. He was a really good guy; happy, fun, energetic, and he had a good heart. But he let himself get bullied around too easily sometimes. He might have a good heart, but he was a coward.

Suddenly I heard another voice, calling his name. A slick, smoothe, and seemingly impatient voice.

"Demyx! Come on, what's taking you so long?" A lively redhead came sprinting towards us but came to an abrupt stop when he saw me. His face that had shown an expression of happiness--although perhaps some irritation, too-- moments ago turned into a death glare in less than a second. Our eyes locked and I could feel the angry aura coming off of him. The pure hatred.

I felt helpless under his gaze, like his eyes alone had the power to kill me. I felt sick inside, like this whole mess--everyone's hatred and pain, everyone else's suffering--was my fault. And it was.

"Oh, sorry, Axel," Demyx apologized, scratching the back of his neck sheepishly. "I, uh--"

"Let's go," Axel commanded, and Demyx obeyed silently. Axel stormed off, without even a word or second glance to me. Demyx followed close behind him. However, unlike Axel, he looked back at me apologetically before they both disappeared.

See, Demyx was Axel's boyfriend. They had been together for a few months now, and they seemed pretty happy together. At least, that's what I heard. And they seemed happy together, so...that was...good, I guess.

I knew Axel hated me. It was obvious. And maybe I deserved it. I wasn't sure what Demyx thought, however. I don't think he hated me...he didn't act like it. He wasn't one to judge people...not all the time, anyway.

My thoughts were interrupted when I felt a sudden tap on my shoulder. I turned around to see that face yet again, and it suprised me at first. I couldn't get used to it. Seeing his face, his eyes...although his smile was different.

"Hiya, I'm Sora," he began, pointing to himself. _Duh,_ I thought,_ I figured that out yesterday._ "We met yesterday, remember?" I rolled my eyes, and he seemed confused. I ignored his confusion, however, and nodded.

"Yeah, we did..."

"You're Riku, right?" I nodded and he suddenly started laughing. I raised one brow in confusion.

"What's so funny?" He shook his head, and when he could stop laughing he answered.

"Its just that Riku is a girl's name." I furrowed my brow frustratedly. Riku was NOT a girl's name!

"Hey, Riku is not a girl's name, its a uni-sex name," I stated, placing one hand on my hip. He stared up at me for a moment and then snorted, chuckling slightly afterwards. I rolled my eyes at his idiocy. Who laughs at the word 'uni-sex'?

"Whatever you say, Riku." He emphasized my name, and I wondered silently what was wrong with this kid. "ANYWAY, I noticed that Kairi and Selphie don't really seem to like you today," I raised an eyebrow at the 'today' part, "So like...what's up with you guys? Did you dump one of them or something?" I rolled my eyes again.

"No, I didn't. They're just..." I paused, trying to come up with something good. "Its complicated." I stated lamely, and he nodded slowly in minor understanding.

"Oh, okay..." An awkward silence grew between us, but then he spoke up again. "You know, I haven't really seen you hang out with anybody," he stated, and I looked down. "Don't you have any friends?" I was silent, but I don't think he caught on that he had asked the wrong question. "I mean, I'd figure that _you_ would have a lot of friends," he added on, placing both hands on his hips. I cocked up an eyebrow in suspicion.

"What do you mean?" He stared at me blankly, blinked, and then shook his head.

"Nothing. So, do you have any friends?"

"Is it any of your business?" I retorted.

"Well...I guess not. I was just wondering..." the brunette replied, shrugging and letting his hands drop limply to his sides. "Do...you wanna be friends with me?"

We just stared at each other for a while, he was smiling and I was looking at him undecidedly. He wanted to be my friend? Why? We had only met like...the day before. Besides, you don't _ask_ people if they wanna be friends, you just become friends.

I furrowed my brow slightly, and then spoke. "No." My voice came out darker then I had intended, and it sounded kind of scary. His smile immediately vanished.

"Why not?" But I turned away from him, ignoring his question.

"I have to go."

* * *

I lay in bed that night thinking. Just thinking. I couldn't sleep, I wasn't hungry, I couldn't focus on any homework. I was still. I just stared at the ceiling and watched nothing happen.

I could hear my dad outside of the room. He was definately drunk again. I wondered where he got the money for my schooling _and_ all of his drugs, but shook it off, instead. It wasn't important enough. Besides, even if it was, I couldn't get my mind off of Sora. What a strange little guy...so different from..._him_. So much more outgoing, so...happy. So brave.

And yet whenever I thought of both of them together, when I thought of each of their faces and pictured them in my mind, they were so alike. The only difference I could see was the hair...and that Sora's skin was a bit darker. He had a tan.

I sighed and turned to lay on my side. My stomach was growling, and I felt kind of sick. Of course, that was kinda normal for me. I never really felt a-okay anymore. I had actually forgotten what it felt like to feel fine. Guess that wasn't a good sign, huh? Not that my life was really...'good'.

I closed my eyes and frowned. Geez...I really did feel sick. Like, actually sick. Maybe it was just my imagination...I hoped so. Sure, school wasn't fun, but it was better than being sick at home with my father, and having to take care of myself, on top of that. That'd only happened a few times, and it hadn't worked out so well. Definately not fun at all. Plus, in this Summer heat (well, actually end-of-Summer heat, but it was still hot), it would be even worse. Remember? No air conditioner in my house.

Maybe that was it. Maybe I was just feeling sick cuz' I was too hot or something...even though it wasn't very hot at night. Ah, hell. Bloody fucking hell. Why did it even matter? As if I didn't know the answer.

I kept thinking about Sora, and it was making me feel weird. It was strange to see those face and eyes on another person. It made me feel sick. Disgusted. Guilty. It brought back too many painful memories. Too many images.

I tried to close my eyes tighter, as if that would make all of the images, and the emotions along with them, go away. But it didn't help. Finally, sighing in defeat, I sat up and opened my eyes. I examined my room for a very short while, taking note of all the things I'd seen a million times over and had become boring to me. I then started to count how many pencils, stray peices of paper, wrinkled up clothing that had been carelessly strung everywhere, magazines and empty cigarette boxes I had scattered across my whole room. Sheesh, it really did look like a tornado had come through there.

After I had counted all of that, I _still_ couldn't get my mind off of Sora, so I hopped off of my bed and went to the door. Maybe a nice, hot (or rather cold, since we didn't have hot water) shower would help take my mind off of things.

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**Disclaimer: I, orgymoogle, do not own **_**Kingdom Hearts**_** (none of em'!) or any of the characters or creatures in it. Nor do I own the plots, storylines, or any of its other geniusness. Nor do I own the song, lyrics, or anything else that I take from something else in this fanfiction. I am merely an obsessed fangirl writing a fanfiction.**

**A/N: Alrighty, here it is! Finally, a Riku fanfic! :D I've been wanting to write one of these for a looong time, but I couldn't decide between two I have in mind, but thanks to votes from friends and sisters, (THANK YOU!) I have finally decided to write this one first!**

**P.S. HOMIGAWD!! Kingdom Hearts: 358/2 Days! YESH! It's finally here! I know it came out a couple weeks ago, but I'm just now being able to post this chapter because my beta fish -growls- is very slow. T.T BUT ANYWAY, now that my two sisters are done playing it, I CAN PLAY IT!! :D It's so much fun! I love it! And I love Demyx...:D I'm not very far yet, though...only on like...the 100th sumthin day lol...**

**WELL, I hope you liked this chapter! I didn't. T.T**

**And yes, this is obviously a song fic...well, kinda. xD**

**See, I actually came up with this story idea and then I heard the song and was like ZOMGITSPERFECTESSSSS!!! So yeah...lol.**

**Oh, and by the way, the song is "Savin' Me" by Nickelback.**

**Thanks for reading, plz review and I hope you like the rest!**

**~orgymoogle**


	2. Chapter 2: Two Special Visitors

_Saving Me_

_Chapter 2: Two Special Visitors _

**Well, I'm terrified of these four walls**

**These iron bars can't hold my soul in**

**All I need is you**

Lunch the next day was just as bad as it had been the day before. I entered, saw Kairi and her newly formed little gang--consisting of Sora, Selphie and herself--sitting at a lunch table together, chatting animatedly. Tidus and Wakka soon joined them, and I furrowed my brow slightly, wishing that I could be over there with them.

Sometimes I wished that everything could just go back to the way it was. Before everything. Before _he_ came, before I become an emotional wreck and a cold-hearted bastard, and before Kairi started resenting me. I missed the old days when it was just me and the gang...Kairi, Selphie, Tidus, Wakka...but then of course, they had found someone to replace me now. Sora. Cheery, bubbly Sora. And maybe that was a good thing. I didn't blame them--after all, I was the one who had decided to betray them.

I sighed and didn't even try to go over there. What was the point? Kairi and Selphie would ignore me, and if Kairi had told Wakka and Tidus about the other day, then they would probably be on her side...undoubtedly. The only one who would probably even say "hi" to me was Sora. Stupid, oblivious Sora.

Well, whatever. Maybe I could find some leftovers somewhere...sometimes the lunch ladies gave me whatever they had left after lunch because they felt bad for me...but that didn't happen very often.

* * *

When I woke up the next morning I felt starved. I groaned and rolled over onto my side, clutching my stomach uselessly. Okay...so I never really got any full meals, but my stomach was used to getting some food from Kairi practically every day! Sure it was just a little, but it was something to hold me over.

I opened my eyes and groaned frustratedly, glaring at the alarm clock on my sidetable that read "7:45 A.M.". School started at 8:00 a.m., so I would probably be late. Sighing, I sat up and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes, then proceeded to get out of bed and get dressed. I wasn't even going to bother taking a shower that day, it wouldn't make much of a difference anyway. It took me a few minutes to get all of my school stuff together, but when I finally made it out the door it was around 8:00 a.m. I walked to school faster than usual, since I was already late, but there was no way I was going to bust my ass running the whole way there. It didn't even matter that much.

I eventually made it to the school, not bothering to check the time and instead heading straight to class. I opened the door and all eyes immediately landed on me, including the teacher's. Said man was sending me a harsh glare, but I simply avoided his gaze and headed to my seat.

"Mind telling us why you are so late, Riku?" I plopped down in my seat and threw my bag on the floor, then looked up at the badly-tempered teacher.

"Didn't wake up early enough, I guess," I shrugged, slouching back in my seat. The teacher gave me a critical stare and then rolled his eyes.

"You have detention after school, Riku. And I'm afraid since you keep coming in late and interrupting my class, I'm going to have to call your parents." I rolled my eyes.

"We don't have a phone." A few of the other students in the room snickered, but one glare from me shut them up immediately. The teacher seemed stumped by this fact for a moment, but then he shook his head.

"Well then. In that case, I'm just going to have to have a parent-teacher conference. Please be sure to tell your father to meet me in this classroom tomorrow after lunch."

"He won't come..." I murmured silently to myself, pulling out the book required for that class.

And he didn't. The next day was Saturday, and the night before I had told him exactly what the teacher said to tell him, and the only reply I got from him was an empty beer bottle thrown at my head. Luckily, I had learned how to dodge those, so I hadn't gotten hit. But the next day my teacher didn't see my father or me.

Well, what was the point of me going if he wasn't going to go? I would just tell him on Monday, and then he wouldn't believe me, and I'd probably get detention again. Oh, the joys of my life.

* * *

The start of the next school week came around rather quickly. I arrived at school on time on Monday, although I felt like I was going to pass out. I hadn't eaten in about a week, I was tired, and I didn't even wanna think about the teacher I would have to deal with in my first class. Not to mention detention after school.

I groaned and slammed my locker door shut, then nearly had a heart attack when I saw two big, blue eyes staring up at me curiously.

"Damnit, Sora, are you trying to give me a heart attack?!" He seemed confused for a moment and then smiled sheepishly.

"Sorry." He stared at me blankly for a few moments and I raised a suspicious eyebrow.

"What?"

"You look really tired," he replied, a hint of worry in his tone.

Rolling my eyes, I mumbled, "You would be too," and started walking away. I don't think he heard me, which is probably better, because if he had heard me he probably would have asked a bunch of questions. Which I could definitely do without.

He followed close behind me as I headed towards my first class. "So, how'd the teacher-student-parent meeting thingy go?" he asked casually, and I paused mid-step. He stopped, too, and I turned to look at him.

"How did you...how do you know about that?" He stared blankly at me for a moment and laughed.

"The teacher announced it in class, silly! Remember?"

"Oh...right." Well, that was good to know. For a second there I thought that this kid was some kind of weird stalker. Not that I doubted that theory...what with the way he was acting like he knew me so well. I began walking again and he started humming a cheery tune; I also noticed a light hop in his step. I sighed. Was he really gonna follow me? "You know, you should head to your class," I suggested. I didn't really care if he was late or not--why should I?--I just wanted him off of my back. He turned and grinned up at me, and for some reason I got the scary feeling that--

"I have the same first class as you! Didn't you ever notice?"

Damn. I knew he was gonna say that.

"No, actually, I didn't notice," I grumbled, and he tilted his head in confusion.

"Really? Hmm...well, I noticed you right away."

"...Really?" He nodded enthusiastically. "Well, uh...great." We walked in awkward silence until I reached my classroom, then the bell rang. I was surprised that I had actually made it in time, and sat in my seat lazily. Sora, who was apparently in my first class, sat down in a seat in the third row. I was in the second row.

Throughout the entire class, I felt like someone was staring at me. A certain someone who went by the name of Sora. This was definitely a high possibility, but I didn't turn around to see. I would rather just ignore him. When the class ended and I got up I glanced over and noticed that he was staring at me.

Okay...that was kinda creepy.

I hurried out of the classroom and heard a loud "wait up!" I didn't stop walking, but Sora caught up with me anyway.

"What's your next class?" he asked cheerily.

"Science."

"Aww! I wish we had science together!" Sora put on a pouty face and I silently thanked whoever the hell decided my fate that we weren't in the same science class. The bell rang and Sora sighed. "Well, seeya later!" He waved and grinned hugely, then darted off towards his next class.

--

At lunch, even though I tried my hardest to avoid the cafeteria, Sora found me. He had a brown paper bag in his hand and a big grin on his face. I headed up to the roof of the school--no one else ever went there--and he, of course, followed me. However, when he saw that I wasn't going to eat anything, he frowned in confusion.

"Aren't you going to eat anything?" I shook my head and rested my arms atop the brick wall that circled the entire roof--it only reached up to my mid-chest. I sighed and rested my chin on it as well, closing my eyes and breathing in the humid air. "Why not?" He came to stand beside me and --still holding onto it--put his lunch bag on top of the wall. I shrugged and, as if on cue, my stomach growled. I opened my eyes and glanced down at it in annoyance--it seemed like it was trying to make me remember that I was hungry no matter how hard I tried to forget. Sora laughed and I looked over at him just when he had stopped. "You must be really hungry." I rolled my eyes. Stating the obvious, huh? "Have you had anything to eat today?"

I looked away from him and out towards the front lawn of the school. The grass was neatly trimmed and there was no trash anywhere--all of it was in the plain, gray garbage cans. _How boring,_ I thought mildly to myself, then stood so that I wasn't leaning on the wall. Sora was still staring up at me curiously, waiting for a reply. I sighed and sat down, leaning my back against the low wall. "Nope."

Sora plopped down next to me, an incredulous look on his face. I almost chuckled--he looked like he had never gone a day in his life without eating. Which...he probably never had.

"Wow...I could never do that! I love eating." He laughed and opened his lunch bag, pulling out a sandwich, a juicebox, a little bag of gummies, an apple, and a chocolate pudding cup. I stared in awe at the fresh food, but quickly tore my gaze away, not wanting to seem desperate. He seemed to notice, however, and sheepishly held out the apple to me. "Here," he said, gesturing for me to take it. I bit the inside of my cheek for a moment, thinking it over. But, after my stomach growled for the second time, I awkwardly--yet eagerly--took the apple.

"Thanks," I mumbled, and nodded slightly before biting into the fruit. He smiled and proceeded to eat the rest of his lunch.

* * *

For the next couple of weeks, I got used to Sora following me practically everywhere I went. At first he was annoying as all hell, but after the first week...I actually kinda started to warm up to him. We would meet before classes started, go to history together, part for science, and etc. I thought it was amazing how he made himself comfortable with people so quickly. As if he had known them their entire lives. It was kind of amusing how he would just go up to people and introduce himself...I tried to stay far away from him when he did that. Because, usually, if I didn't he would somehow drag me into the conversation.

Unfortunately, throughout those couple of weeks Kairi stayed the same. She wouldn't talk to me, look at me--she wouldn't even acknowledge that I was there. Sora seemed confused sometimes; like, for example, when I tried to talk to Kairi and she would ignore me or walk away. Selphie, of course, followed her lead. Wakka was doing the same thing...well, sorta. Not to the same extent as Kairi and Selphie were. Even Tidus was joining in, too. Tidus was never serious. He was always acting immature and doing stupid things.

Weird how we all used to be such good friends...it didn't even seem like we knew each other, now. Or rather, it seemed like we were almost enemies...I guess they were tired of waiting for me to suck it up. To change back to how I used to be...heh. I wish I could.

Guess I screwed up. Ah, fuck it. My whole life was screwed up.

"RIKUUU!!" I was suddenly attacked from behind, and I uttered a loud gasp, afterwards closing my eyes and sighing frustratedly. I think Sora really was trying to kill me. "Guess what!" In less than a second his beaming face was in front of mine, and I listened in mild interest to what he had to say. "I'M GOING TO A WEDDING!!"

...What?

"Uh...okay?"

"I've always wanted to go to a wedding! They're so beautiful and romantic," he said dreamily, bringing both of his hands up to his chest where his heart was and gazing off into the distance. I snorted. He seemed confused and put his hands on his hips. "You don't think so?"

"Well...weddings are okay, I guess. I just don't know why you're getting so excited about it. I mean, it's not like its your wedding," I explained, shrugging. Sora stared at me blankly for a moment, then furrowed his brow.

"Have you ever been to a wedding before, Riku?"

"Of course I have," I murmured, opening my locker door.

"Then I guess you didn't love it, huh?" _Obviously,_ I thought to myself. "Well..._I_ love weddings!" He was beaming again, and, leaning against the lockers, began staring off into space. I chuckled and closed my locker, turning to face him.

Wait..."chuckled"? I couldn't remember the last time I had actually laughed...hmm.

Sora suddenly focused on me again and grinned when he saw that I was actually looking at him. "Hey, Sora, do you ever actually go to your own locker?" His whole face took on a look of realization and he hopped up from his place against the lockers.

"Right!" In a second he was off towards his locker, like a bullet. I laughed and tagged behind slowly. When I reached his locker he was shutting the door, sighing in relief. "Thanks for the reminder," he said, grinning stupidly and scratching the back of his neck sheepishly. I nodded, and then the bell began to ring. Sighing, I turned to go to class. Sora followed, as was usual, and began blabbering on about something.

* * *

"I'm home!" I slipped my shoes off at the front door and walked into the living room, dropping my bag off there. My mom came in from the kitchen and smiled warmly at me, drying her hands on a pink kitchen rag and wearing her usual short skirt and tight-fitting blouse.

"Hey, hun!" I walked over to her and she gave me a quick kiss on the forehead, then continued to dry her hands. "How was school today?"

"It was pretty good," I paused, trying to look over her shoulder into the kitchen. "What're you making? I'm starved!" She giggled and led me into the kitchen, and I took a seat in one of the chairs.

"I'm afraid it's nothing too wonderful, honey. I tried to make pasta but--"

"You burnt it, didn't you?" I laughed, and she sent me a playful glare.

"I did not "burn" it...I just...accidently forgot to take it off of the stove in time, and then it got really rubbery..." I laughed again and she rolled her eyes and smiled.

"Hey, so do you remember when I told you about Riku?" My mother furrowed her brow lightly as she handed me a sandwich, then headed back over to the counter and began making herself a cup of tea.

"Mmm...no, I don't remember that." I lifted up one of the pieces of bread that made up the sandwich, inspecting it before I ate it. It was a simple PB and J, and it looked good enough to eat. That was surprising, since my mother couldn't cook anything.

"You don't remember?" She shrugged and came back over to the table with her cup of tea, taking a seat across from me. I shook my head and then took a big bite out of the sandwich. "Ell, Wiku is a woy I et in skull an e's ORJUUS--!"

"Sora! Sora, darling, don't talk with your mouth full," my mother laughed, and I grinned sheepishly, causing her to make a disgusted face. "And don't open your mouth while you're chewing, either." I finished chewing and swallowed, taking a huge breather once I finished. "Now," my mother began again, "what were you sayin'?"

I took a moment to edit my sentence mentally before I repeated it, and grinned. "I said, Riku's a boy I met in school." My mom nodded and stirred her tea, taking a small sip afterwards.

"Go on."

"Well, at first he didn't seem to like me very much...in fact, I think I was getting on his nerves." I frowned and took another bite of my sandwich, making sure to finish chewing and swallowing before I continued. "But I think he's starting to like me! Today I even made him laugh!" I grinned hugely and my mom gave me an amused look.

"Well, that's...good, I guess," she laughed, and I finished my sandwich. "Do you have any other friends?"

"Yup! Kairi, Selphie, Tidus, Wakka..."

"Ooh, Sora, sounds like a bunch of girls!" My mom got excited about this and I laughed.

"Tidus and Wakka are guys, mom."

"Oh." I laughed again and she did, too, and then we heard another voice.

"What's so funny?" I turned around to search for the source of the noise and grinned when I saw my older sister, Aqua, entering the kitchen.

"Aqua!!" I stood from my chair and she came over, smiling.

"Hey, Sora!" she chirped, and I gave her a tight hug. She laughed and I let go of her so I could get a better look at her. It was then I noticed, out of the corner of my eye, another figure who had come through the doorway.

"Terra!" My smile widened and I ran and jumped, landing in his arms.

"Woah! Take it easy, Sora," he laughed, and by this time my mom had stood up and was chatting with my sister.

See, my older sister, Aqua--who was now almost twenty years old!--was in college and she hardly ever got to come home. So whenever she did we got really excited, obviously. We were really close, all of us--my mom, Aqua and me. And Terra, my sister's boyfriend, was actually pretty close to us, too. He was practically like family! He usually came with my older sister when she came home from school. Of course, now we were living in a different house and town entirely. Before we moved to Destiny Islands we were living in Traverse Town, which is pretty far away from Destiny Islands. And Destiny Islands is where Aqua went to college. So, we decided to move closer to her college so we could see her more often! She probably would have moved in with us by now, but her and Terra both lived on campus, and they really, reeeally liked each other! I think Aqua had once actually talked to my mom about Terra moving in with us, but...my mom was a little strict when it came to that sort of thing. Not that she didn't like Terra--she did, a lot, but...I guess the whole idea of Terra and Aqua living under the same roof made her kind of nervous. Haha! She even wanted to put Aqua in an only-girls college at first, but Aqua wouldn't go for that.

"Honey, what are you doing here?" my mom asked Aqua, and said person sighed.

"Ugh, I had to come home. School has been terrible lately."

"Well, don't tell me you're just dropping out?" Aqua laughed and laid a hand on my mom's shoulder.

"Don't worry, mom. I'm still gonna go to school, I'm just staying here for a little while instead of my dorm," she paused in thought for a moment and then continued, "that is, if it's okay?"

"Of course it is, honey!" My mother took a pause and then looked over at Terra, smiling. "And I suppose you want to stay, too?" Terra smiled impishly and shrugged, and my mom persed her lips in thought. "Well...I don't know."

"Come on, mom, he's already come all the way over here! Besides, it's not like we're going to do anything that we don't do on campus," explained the blue haired woman, and mom gave Aqua a warning look. Terra winked at me, grinning, and I giggled, while Aqua laughed.

"I guess you can stay in the guest bedroom." Terra grinned and came over to give my mom a kiss on the cheek, causing her to giggle.

"C'mon Sora, help me bring my stuff to my room," Aqua said, and I grinned and nodded.

"Okay!" I grabbed one of her bags and we headed out of the kitchen and down the hall to her room. We lived in a one-story house, and it was kind of small, but that was okay. We didn't need a very big house, since there were only three people living here--two usually, and four at the most, thanks to Terra. Besides, we probably couldn't afford a bigger house--what with all the munny my mom spent on clothes and make-up!

Terra tagged along but instead of heading into Aqua's room went to the guest bedroom, dumping his stuff in there.

"So," Aqua began, plopping down cross-legged on her bed after we finished dumping her stuff on the floor, "what's been going on while I was gone?" I followed suit and sat down on her bed, tapping a finger on my chin thoughtfully.

"Well...school is pretty good so far! I have lots of new friends! There's Kairi, I think she was the first girl to talk to me--and she's really pretty! Selphie is her best friend who kind of follows her around everywhere; she's really into romance and stuff. Wakka and Tidus are best friends, too, and they're on the blitzball team! You can't miss Wakka--he has this CRAZY orange hair that sticks up and then curls!"

Aqua laughed and I grinned, and once she stopped laughing she looked back at me with a mischevious look on her face. "So," she began, "do you have a special interest in this "Kairi"?" I blushed and shook my head, and she giggled.

"No, no, no! Me and Kairi are just friends, believe me!"

"Really? Well you know, Sora, you just happened to mention how 'pretty' Kairi is." She smiled, and I rolled my eyes.

"I'm really not interested in Kairi in that way...although I think she might like me," I said.

"Well, you've got to be interested in _someone_," my sister pushed, ducking her head down as if we were speaking about an important, secret matter. I looked up into space for a moment in thought, then shook my head.

"Nah...not anyone..." Aqua sighed and, as an afterthought, I added "...yet." She smiled and I continued.

"Well you're gonna have to tell me any good news, alright?" I nodded enthusiastically.

"Of course!" She giggled and I continued.

"Oh, there's also this guy named Riku...I don't know exactly how old he is, but I think he's a bit older than me. His hair is really long and SILVER! Can you believe it's silver? And I don't think he dyed it, either!" My sister gave me a disbelieving look.

"I doubt his hair is naturally silver, Sora."

"But I seriously think it is!" Aqua shook her head and chuckled. "Anyway, he's SO gorgeous! His eyes are an amazing aquamarine color, and his skin is so PERFECT!" I sighed dreamily.

"Well, well, well, Sora. You seem to be pretty fond of this "Riku" guy!" Aqua laughed and I blushed and smiled shyly.

"Welll...I-I guess so...I mean, I dunno! He's...he's..." I paused to think, but couldn't think of the right word. "He's _something_!" Aqua grinned. "I don't think he liked me before, but I think he does now!"

"How long have you known him?"

"Mmm...I dunno...about a month?" All of a sudden we heard the unmistakable noise of a phone receiving a text message. Aqua held up one finger to me and took it out, quickly reading her texts and then smiling.

"Terra wants to come in." I grinned and nodded my approval, and she texted him back. Moments later the door swung open and a smiling Terra waltzed in.

"Hey, girls," he greeted, coming to flop down on Aqua's bed, right inbetween us, lying down on his back with his legs hanging off the side of the bed. Aqua giggled and I blushed, and the blue haired girl proceeded to lean down to give her boyfriend a chaste kiss. I giggled and Terra grinned mischeviously. "You wanna see something even funnier?" Aqua gave him a playful slap on the arm and he laughed. "So, what are we talking about?"

"Oh, just 'girl' stuff," Aqua said, resting her head on her hand. Terra stared at her for a moment and then grinned and, in a high-pitched voice that I imagine was supposed to sound like a girl's voice, he spoke.

"Oh, you know how I just LOVE gossip! So, Sora, do you have a girlfriend yet?" Aqua and I both laughed and Terra grinned victoriously.

We talked for hours after that--all three of us. Terra mostly just listened, although he did put a few words in a couple of times. Eventually my mom came in and joined us. I don't know how long we talked, but eventually we got hungry and headed for the kitchen.

* * *

**A/N: ...8D.**

**Okay...first I just wanna say that I feel kind of weird writing such happy scenes...I'm not sure if it was good or not, but I really hope it was! And would you look at that? Two surprise guests! Haha, I couldn't help myself.**

**Well uh...yeah. I didn't originally intend for Sora's POV to last so long, in fact I only expected it to last maybe, like, 6 paragraphs or so. I just wanted to introduce some people because they will be making later appearances...muahahaha!**

**OH! BY THE WAY!! Thank you all sooo much for the favorites and alerts! I can't believe how many I got for the **_**first**_** chapter! :D But, as good as favorites and alerts are--and don't get me wrong, I really do love them and appreciate them!--reviews give me a LOT of inspiration to write! And I really love to hear what you think about my stories...so, please review! It'll just take a second of your time. ;)**

**Also, I think that this story might move along faster than I expected...I'm trying to drag out the first couple of chapters, and I think that turned out pretty well, but...yeah. I have a feeling that this story's plot bubble will probably start to burst sooner than my other story's plot bubble.**

**Haha...by the way, I don't know what Terra and Aqua act like...my older sister (and beta fish), who watched some of the cutscenes for **_**Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep**_** (I can't **_**wait**_** for that game! ZACK!!! RIKUUU!!! OMG! :DDD), told me that Terra acts like Zack Fair, only more mature...so, I dunno if I succeeded in making him act like that or not. xD**

**ANYWHO, I'm pretty sure that one of my best friends, Kassi, is reading this, so; HEY KASSI!! I MISS YOU SO MUCH!! LOVE YA, GIRL!**

**Thank you to my beta fish, **_**flurry of dying flame**_**, for beta reading! I think when I told her that there would be appearances by "two special guests" she thought I meant Lea and Isa...xD (by the way, they are ADORABLE! :3)**

**Well, thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed. =D**

**All flames will be used for Axel's enjoyment.**

**P.S. I re-read **_**Death Note, Another Note: The Los Angeles BB Murder Cases**_**, and its amazing how many little details you don't remember the first time you read a book. By the way, I just wanna say that DNANLABBMC has to be my favorite book of all time. I love Mello! xD I also feel really bad for B...and now I want to write my **_**Death Note**_** fanfic even more than ever!! Haha!**

**~orgymoogle**

**Disclaimer: I, orgymoogle, do not own **_**Kingdom Hearts**_** (none of em'!) or any of the characters or creatures in it. Nor do I own the plots, storylines, or any of its other geniusness. I don't own the song "Savin' Me" by Nickelback, or any of the lyrics, either. I am merely an obsessed fangirl writing a fanfiction.**


	3. Chapter 3: One Night Stand

_Saving Me_

_Chapter 3: One Night Stand_

**Come, please, I'm calling**

**And oh, I scream for you**

**Hurry, I'm falling, I'm falling**

"And then she tripped and her dress flew up!" Sora said, laughing histarically. He wiped a tear from his eye and took in a deep breath, standing up more straight. "Now that's a wedding to remember," he finished, grinning. I shook my head, chuckling lightly.

"I'm sure it was."

"How was your weekend?" I sighed and closed my locker, starting on our walk to class.

"Well, boring, as usual."

"You didn't go out or do anything fun?" I shook my head and he frowned. "Well...why not?" I shrugged.

"I just...don't really have anyone to go out with, I guess." Sora snickered, covering his mouth with his hand.

"Maybe you should get a girlfriend." I immediately snorted after he said this and looked down at him incredulously.

"Yeah right." He seemed confused, and put his hands on his hips.

"Why not? Don't you want a girlfriend?" I sucked on the inside of my cheek, wondering how exactly I should answer him. I really didn't want a girlfriend...or a boyfriend. Or at least, I didn't think I did. I guess I didn't really think about it that often...or rather, I tried not to. I wasn't really interested in girls, anyway. Butit would sound weird to Sora if I said that I didn't want a girlfriend...I mean what guy my age didn't? Ah, what the hell.

"Err...I dunno..." I avoided his gaze and he huffed impatiently.

"Don't you have any hormones?" I gave him a strange look and he shrugged. "Well, it doesn't seem like you do! Don't you wanna feel all good about someone and kiss someone and touch someone and--"

"I get it, Sora," I said quickly, cutting him off before he could say anything else.

"Then answer the question." I rolled my eyes and when I looked back at him I saw the same eyes that I'd known so well before staring right back up at me.

"I guess...maybe sometimes," I answered, completely unsure.

"Geez, Riku..._I_ want a boyfriend," Sora said, sighing dreamily.

"Of course you do..." I muttered, glancing over at him for a moment before furrowing my brow in frustration. Why'd he have to look so much like _him_?

I walked at a faster pace now, and I could tell Sora was about to say something, but I entered the classroom and took a seat quickly, just as class was starting.

/`.../`.../`.../`

When class ended Sora was already at my seat. I was gathering my things together and packing them into my messenger bag. Sora looked kinda worried, and I furrowed my brow in confusion.

"Sora...?"

"Riku, do you hate gay people?"

I blinked at him once and then rasied an eyebrow. "Uhh...what?" Where had that come from?

"Are you a homophobe?"

He waited anxiously for me to answer, and I shook my head slowly.

"No...why do you ask?" Now Sora seemed confused, as well, and he placed his hands on his thin hips.

"Because, before when I told you that I want a boyfriend, you were acting weird!" I stared at him for a moment and then laughed. Sora still seemed confused, obviously not understanding what was so funny. I, on the other hand, had the sudden urge to ruffle his hair. I couldn't believe he thought _I_ was a homophobe! When I stopped laughing I patted him on the shoulder sympathetically, pushing him forward slightly so we could start walking out of the classroom.

"Sora, believe me, I don't hate gay people."

"Oh...good!" Sora was beaming again in no time, and I chuckled lightly. He was so bipolar. As I followed Sora to his locker, I noticed something strange. Everyone was..._watching _us. I mean, yeah, they watched us before, but now they were like, staring. A lot. And it looked like they were still gossiping. I sighed frustratedlywe reached Sora's locker in no time. He seemed to notice my irratation and he looked up at me worriedly. "What's wrong?" I looked away from him, glaring at one of the small groups that were eyeing us. Honestly, didn't they have anything better to do?

"Nothing."

Sora frowned and followed my gaze. "Are you sure?" I sighed and looked back at him, and he met my gaze.

"I'm positive."

He didn't seem convinced, but the bell rang and we had to go to our seperate classes.

The next day everyone was still watching us. I don't think Sora noticed, either that or he pretended to. They continued to watch us and whisper about us for the rest of the week. I thought they would stop, but they didn't. The next week was just as bad. And they were getting louder. I was surprised Sora didn't say anything about it. He did seem to notice by the third week, though. He noticed all of their calculating stares and I could tell it made him nervous. He wasn't sure why everyone was acting like that, but I was. I knew why every one of those scumbags was watching us as if we were criminals or something. And it made me want to punch in all of their faces.

At lunch time I hurried out of the lunch room and up to the vacant roof as quickly as possible, Sora always following right behind me. One day, during lunch break, as we sat in silence on the roof of the school, he finally asked me.

"Riku...why is everyone talking about us?" It had caught me off guard, and I choked on the half of a sandwich Sora had given me for lunch. He usually brought me something, since he noticed that I never brought anything for myself. I was very thankful to him, and so far he hadn't asked me why I didn't bring my own lunch, which was good.

"I, uh," I struggled to come up with an excuse, but finally I came up with one that I thought sounded fairly reasonable. "I don't know." He was frowning at me, but he didn't push me any further. Instead, he turned back to his lunch and started eating in silence. I expected him to say something--he always did--but that time he didn't. In all of the several months I'd known him now, I'd never heard him so silent before, not even during class. I glanced over at him nevrously. What had I said? "So uh..." I tried to begin a conversation, but came up blank. He didn't seem too eager to start off on a topic, instead choosing to focus on his lunch, so I just finished up my sandwich and took out a box of cigarettes and a lighter from my pocket. Sora didn't notice at first, I don't think, but when I lighted it and a cloud of smoke slowly began forming, he looked over and gasped.

"You smoke?!" he nearly screeched, causing me to jump in alarm. I stared at him in shock, not answering his question. "Riku! I can't believe you smoke!" The brunette looked very distressed, and I was confused. Why was he making such a big deal out of it?

"Umm...sorry?" I replied unsuredly, and he shook his head.

"Riku, that's really bad for you!" he exclaimed, and I raised one eyebrow.

"I guess so..."

"Don't you care?!"

I was very surprsied at how upset Sora was getting about this whole thing. I mean, so what I smoked? Big deal. Or...it hadn't been to me, but apparently it was to Sora.

"Look, if you're that upset about it I'll just put it out." After not receiving a response from Sora, other than a horrified look, I sighed and pulled the cigarette out of my mouth and smashed it into the cement of the roof floor. "Geez...why are you getting so worked up about this?"

"Why?! You actually have to ask?!"

"Sora, calm down!"

The poor boy was panicking, and I put my hands on his shoulder in an attempt to calm him down.

"Riku, how long have you been smoking?" he asked abruptly.

"Umm, I don't know...for a while," I replied, and I saw Sora's eyes watering up.

"S-Sora!" What was WRONG with him? Was he actually going to cry?

"Riku...that's really, really bad for you," he repeated, rubbing his eyes.

"Sora," I chuckled, shocked that he would react to me smoking this way. I ruffled his hair and he seemed a bit surprsied, but tried not to show it. I was a bit surprised myself. "Chill out, okay?" He stared up at me for a second, and slowly a small smile spread across his face.

"Y-yeah...I'm sorry," he said, scratching the back of his neck sheepishly. "I guess I just got really worried about you, since you're my best friend," he laughed.

Yep, definitely bipolar.

I liked how he refferred to us as 'best friends', though. I guess...we _did_ spend a lot of time together, and he was the only one I really hung out with. Hmm...having a best friend again felt really...nice.

I smiled at him and he grinned back up at me, but suddenly looked down at his wrist where his watch was.

"Oh no! We better get to class!" He grabbed his stuff and hopped up, holding a hand down to me. "C'mon," he said, smiling. I stared up at him and blinked. His eyes were glistening due to the tears he'd almost been crying moments ago, and they were just so blue...they were gorgeous, really. I blushed lightly as I nodded and took his hand.

"Yeah," I muttered, not sure if he heard me or not. He'd seemed a bit worried when I didn't take his hand right away, but once I grabbed it and he helped me up he was grinning like a maniac. We went to our different classes and not quite soon enough school ended.

I sighed with relief when I got outside. I hadn't been able to smoke at lunch, thanks to Sora, and I was dying for a cigarette. I'm surprsied he never caught me smoking before. I didn't try to hide it from him or anything...but maybe it would have been better if I _did_ hide it from him.

I lit a cigarette as I walked away from the school, humming in satisfaction as I breathed in the nicotine.

"Hey, Riku, wait up!" I heard a very familiar voice call, and I groaned in disappointment. I loved being around Sora, I'd recently discovered, but he freaked out when he saw me smoking last night...what would he do now? I was contemplating whether or not I should try to put it out before he noticed or whether it was already too late when he was suddenly in front of me. I wondered silently how he kept doing that, and smiled sheepishly when I realized he had taken notice of the cigarette in my hand.

"Hey Sora," I greeted him, but he was already frowning.

"Riku...another one?"

I shrugged helplessly. "You wouldn't let me have one at lunch...I couldn't wait any longer." He didn't say anything but gave me a rather heart-wrenching look, and I just couldn't say no to what he was silently asking me to do. "Alright, alright...hold on a second." I puffed on the cigarette a few more times before I regrettably put it out. Sora smiled victoriously, turned away from me, and began walking. At first I just stood there, not sure if I was supposed to follow him or not, but finally I decided to.

"So, wanna come over to my house? I want you to meet my mom," Sora asked excitedly, looking up at me once I was walking beside him. I bit my lip nervously.

"I don't know..." I probably smelled like cigarettes now, and I wasn't exactly the most well-liked person on Destiny Islands. And I had no idea what his mom was like...okay, that was a lie. Sora was always blabbering on about everything, including his family. But still...what if she didn't like me?

"Why not?" Sora asked, suddenly confused.

"What if she doesn't like me?"

Sora laughed. "Oh, come on!"

"No, seriously," I continued, but he just grinned at me.

"Riku, don't worry about it. She's not going to hate you."

"...I never said she would _hate_ me."

"Oh...well, it doesn't matter! It'll be fine!" I couldn't really protest, even though I wanted to. I didn't want to go to Sora's house in the state that I was...I especially didn't want to meet his family. But he seemed like he really wanted me to, and when he looked at me with those huge eyes, excited smile, and round cheeks, much like a young child's, I just couldn't say 'no'.

We reached Sora's house pretty quickly. It was nice. It wasn't anything fancy, but I was glad for that. It was a small house; one of those houses you see in the movies, with the white picket fences and flower gardens. It definitely had a woman's touch. Sora opened the small gate and continued down the dirt path to their porch. I followed close behind, examining the outside of their house thoroughly. It sure was beautiful.

"MOOOM, I'M HOOOOOME!" Sora yelled immediately when we entered his house.

"Welcome home, hun!" I heard a woman call from another room. Sora grinned and gestured for me to follow him.

"Mom, I brought Riku home today," Sora announced as we entered his living room. A woman who looked to be in her thirties was sitting on the couch, sipping tea. She was pretty and thin, and she smiled brightly at me and Sora when we came in.

"Oh, hello, Riku!" She stood up and and reached her hand out for me to shake, and I did so with a small smile on my face. I could feel Sora watching us closely, and it made me nervous. "I've heard a lot about you," his mom continued, and I blushed slightly.

"Really?"

She nodded. "Sora talks about you all the time."

"Mom..." Sora whined, blushing. His mom laughed lightly and turned to him.

"Sora, hunny, did you ask your friend if he's hungry?"

"No, I haven't gotten the chance to yet," Sora replied, and then, with a huff, turned to me. "Are you hungry?"

I was, but I felt kind of weird saying 'yes'. I didn't want to make Sora work, but when I took a second look at his face I realized I would actually probably be doing him a favor.

"Uh, sure."

Sora smiled brightly, thanking me silently, and led me to the kitchen. I waved to his mom after she waved to me, offering the best smile I could muster for her. Once we were in the kitchen and a fair distance away from his mother, Sora let out a breath.

"Sorry about her," he said, in a hushed voice, just in case she could hear him. I shrugged.

"It's alright."

Their kitchen was small, just like the rest of the house, but it wasn't really tiny. It was nice and had floral designs in a lot of places, and lots of real flowers, as well. They seemed to have flowers everywhere in their house so far, I examined. Sora absentmindely began making some poptarts--two for me and two for him. When they were done he put them on two plates and told me to follow him to his room. I complied and when we got there his mother suddenly called from the other room.

"Sora, hun, leave the door open a little!" Sora sighed and blushed again.

"Okay, mom!"

"Thanks, sweetie!"

Sora left the door open a couple inches and flopped down on his bed. His room was pretty messy--there were wrinkled up clothes lying everywhere, stray pieces of paper, food dishes, half-eaten meals left out to rot...you could definitely tell it was a guy's room. This caught me a little off-guard, though. Sora always seemed so..._feminine_. It was weird to see his room and actually imagine that he was the one who lived in it and kept it like that.

I shook it off and sat next to Sora on his bed. He handed me a plate of poptarts and I offered a small "thanks" before taking a big bite out of one. I couldn't remember the last time I'd had a poptart. They were so damn good! Sora watched me for a moment as I devoured the poptarts quickly, then he laughed. I looked up, slightly confused.

"You really like poptarts, don't you?" I blushed lightly and swallowed the piece of poptart that was in my mouth.

"Yeah...I guess so." It was silent for a few moments as we ate our poptarts, but finally I had to ask; "Why does your mom want you to leave the door open?" Sora rolled his eyes--not at my question, it seemed that he was rolling them at his mother's behavior.

"She's paranoid that I'm gonna do something if I don't keep it open...when I have friends over, that is..." He was blushing again, and it only took me a moment to realize what he was getting at.

"Oh." I said bluntly. I felt a little embarrassed, as I'm sure he did, too. I tried to think up a question to ask him so that there wouldn't be an awkward silence between us, and the best one that I could think of was; "So then, she knows you're gay?" I thought this question sounded a little odd after I had said it. I mean, she was his mother, surely she knew? I felt stupid for asking. But Sora didn't seem to feel the same way about the question as I did.

"I dunno...I don't think she knows that I'm seriously gay, but I think she suspects something." He looked down then, a look of slight disappointment gracing his features. "I would come straight out and tell her, but I don't know how she'd react." I nodded thoughtfully. I knew the feeling.

"She seems pretty nice, though," I said, shrugging.

He laughed. "Yeah, but sometimes she freaks out about my sister and her boyfriend living on the same campus!" I chuckled. "Hmm...I wonder if she'll come by today. Her college isn't too far away from here. I really want you to meet her; she's awesome!" I smiled and nodded.

"I'd like that."

I had heard a lot about his sister, and she did sound pretty awesome. So did her boyfriend. I think their names were...Aqua and Terra, if I remembered correctly. We sat in Sora's room for the next couple of hours and just talked. His mom checked on us a couple of times, and each time Sora got a bit flustered. I thought it was very amusing; the energetic brunette was usually never embarrassed by anything, it seemed, but apparently all you had to do was bring in his mom and have her start implying certain..._things_.

It was really nice spending time with Sora. I had a great time. In fact, now that I'd known him for a few months or so--I'd lost track of how long--, I couldn't imagine _not_ spending time with him.

At about 6:00 p.m., the door to Sora's room opened once again. We both looked over, assuming it was his mom, but although it was a girl it was most definitely not Sora's mother. She had short, blue hair and a soft smile on her lips.

"Aqua!" Sora exclaimed, jumping off of his bed and almost tackling said woman over.

"Hey, Sora!" she laughed, hugging him back.

I smiled. So this was Aqua, huh?

"Riku, this is my sister, Aqua," Sora introduced me, and I stood from the bed and walked over to them, smiling.

"Hey," I nodded, and she nodded back.

"Aqua, this is Riku." Aqua's face brightened and she grinned at me.

"You're Riku, huh? Well, you definitely fit Sora's description." I blushed, and so did Sora. Somehow I got the feeling that I was a major topic in Sora's household. Aqua, noticing both of our embarrassment, laughed and quickly changed the subject. "C'mon, dinner's ready." She walked out of the room, gesturing for us to follow. Sora's blush had died down and he grinned at me.

"You can eat, too," he said, following Aqua out of the room. I followed him into the kitchen and was surprised with what I saw. There was a bunch of food set on the table, more at one meal than I could ever remember seeing.

Sora sat down and patted the seat beside him, grinning at me. I sat down next to him and we began eating. I tried not to eat very much--I felt kind of awkward, I mean, afterall, I'd only just met some of his family. But I think my hunger got the best of me. Luckily, there was plenty of food to go around. They talked about how their days went and other such subjects, and I piped in every now and then. When dinner was over I was full. I was actually full. It was so weird to not hear my stomach growl or feel like I was about to faint because of lack of nutrients. I felt like I was gonna explode...yet at the same time it felt so good to not be hungry for once.

Afterwards, I thanked Sora's mom for the meal and eventually Aqua left. By the time it was 8:00 p.m., I figured I'd better get going, too. It was getting late-ish, and although I didn't have a particular reason to go home, it just felt like I should.

"I guess I'd better go, too," I said, minutes after Aqua had left.

"Awww...are you sure?" Sora pouted. I smiled at him.

"Yeah."

"Okay...well, I'll walk you there!"

My eyes widened slightly and I began to panic. Sora could most definitely not go to my house. I couldn't let him see where I was living or who I was living with! Knowing Sora, he would probably make a really big deal out of it.

Thinking quickly, I came up with the first excuse that came to mind. "Nah, that's okay. You'll just have to walk back by yourself, and it's dark." Sora frowned and I smiled reassuringly. "Really, it's okay," I insisted and headed for the door. Sora followed me, nonetheless.

"But if I don't go with you then YOU'LL be walking home alone!"

I looked him over and gave him an amused look. "And would it be better for me to be walking home alone or you?" Sora examined both of us thoroughly and blushed.

"Okay...I guess you're right," he sighed. I grinned at him. "I'll see you tomorrow, then!" he chirped, waving. I waved back at him.

"Seeya," I said, and then left. The walk to my house was a bit longer than the walk to Sora's house from the school. It was pretty dark, but there were streetlamps, so I could see. It was fairly quiet, too. Destiny Islands was a small, pretty peaceful town, and it was a school night, so I probably wouldn't be running into anything too interesting. When I reached my house the smile that had been gracing my lips fell and was replaced with a frown. After spending all day with Sora--well, aside from the parts of school where we weren't together--I really wasn't looking forward to seeing my dad. Sighing, I entered my house and saw the usual sight of my dad laying on the couch, being completely wasted and useless. I wondered, suddenly, how someone could waste their life like that, but didn't dwell on that thought for long. Instead, I headed to my room. I didn't think he noticed me come in. His eyes were glued to the T.V. But as I was about to turn the corner into the small hallway that led to my room, he called my name.

"Riku," came his husky voice, "where have you been?"

"Out," I replied curtly.

"Out where? It's pretty late."

"So? Why should you care?"

I probably should have just come up with some lie to tell him instead, because he glared at me and stood up.

"I care cuz' I'm your father." His words were slightly slurred; I could tell he'd been drinking a lot.

"You never cared before..." I muttered.

"What did you say?" His voice was dark and his eyes were boring into me. I shrunk back and furrowed my brow, gulping.

"Nothing..."

He seemed to be getting very impatient very quickly. "Why don't you just answer my question, Riku?"

"I was just out with some friends!" I said, a bit louder than I probably should have.

"Friends? You don't have any friends! Ever since you screwed that little boy over everyone stears clear from you!"

I was glaring at him now, gritting my teeth in an attempt to not say anything I would regret. No one said anything for a while. My thoughts went back to the "little boy" he was talking about, who in fact had not been very little, but I tried to focus on the matter at hand. It hurt, though. When someone said it like that. As if it was just a quick, one-night stand.

"So who were you with?" he repeated.

"Why the hell are you still going on about this?! I already told you, I was just with a friend!" I guess my anger from before kind of exploded into this sentence, and it earned me a hard slap on the cheek. My hand immediately went up to the throbbing area and my father screamed at me.

"Don't you dare use that tone with me!" A few moments of silence passed on before he continued. "Before you said you were with _some_ friends. Now you say you were with _a_ friend. Which is it, Riku?" I only then realized my small mistake, but I didn't answer him. He "hmmph"ed. "I bet you were raping another one, weren't you?"

This time I was the one who lost it. I punched him in the face, as hard as I could. He screamed in pain but quickly regained control of himself. He was fuming now. I tried to make a quick escape, but he was faster than me. He grabbed my arm and slammed me up against the wall, walking up to stand right in front of me. I yelped in pain. He had my arm behind my back, pressed up against the wall. It hurt like hell, and I had to grit my teeth not to scream.

"Do you like that, Riku? I wonder how it would feel to get raped yourself, huh?" He pressed further, now with his body up against mine and his free hand searching my body greedily.

"I...didn't rape anyone," I growled through gritted teeth, and tried to kick him and get him off of me. It didn't work, though; it only got him more angry. He pressed as hard as he could on my arm and the bone snapped; I screamed and he brought his mouth to mine to silence me. I closed my eyes tightly as he forced his tongue into mine and let go of my now-broken arm. He tore off my clothes and his hands began roaming all over my body. At first I tried desperately to stop him, but it was useless. One of my arms was broken and I couldn't get him off of me.

I couldn't believe what was happening. After such a great day, how could something have gone so wrong? I tried to think of something else, anything but what was happening right then, but my mind didn't seem to want to obey me right then. Our lips finally parted and he smirked evilly before forcing my legs apart and pounding into me.

I think the neighbors must have heard me screaming that night. But no one came to help.

* * *

**Disclaimer: I, orgymoogle, do not own **_**Kingdom Hearts**_** (none of em'!) or any of the characters or creatures in it. Nor do I own the plots, storylines, or any of its other geniusness. I am merely an obsessed fangirl writing a fanfiction.**

**A/N: ...sudden rape at the end? I think so, yes. Don't be mad at me...it was bound to happen.**

**Umm...yeah, I know the rape scene was short. I'm not good at those scenes. xD**

**Well, I hope you liked it, nonetheless. I've had a sudden surge of muse lately, so my other stories (the ones that aren't on hiatus '.) will be updated soon!**

**Thanks for reading!**

**All flames will be used for Axel's enjoyment.**

**-orgymoogle**


	4. Chapter 4: Hot Showers

**Disclaimer: I, orgymoogle, do not own **_**Kingdom Hearts**_** or any of the characters or creatures in it. Nor do I own the plots, storylines, or any of its other geniusness. I am merely an obsessed fangirl, writing a fanfiction and wishing it was true.**

**A/N: Hey guys. (: Sorry I haven't updated in forever. I know I suck. xD I also know that excuses are the lamest thing ever, but I'm gonna dish 'em to you anyway, lol. I've been role playing a LOT, which has been taking up all the time I used to use for writing fanfiction. But I've decided to try to even that out so that I have more time for you guys, too. Also, other fandoms (mostly Tokio Hotel) have been clouding my vision and so sometimes it's hard to get into the minds of the characters in KH. xD But I'm definitely gonna try harder...especially since I've finally decided that shorter chapters more often are better than no chapters for months. So. Expect chapters, but don't expect them to be this long all the time, lol.**

**So thank you all SOOOOOO much for waiting so long for this and being so patient, and for sticking with this story! I love you. :'D And I'm sorry for making you wait so long... . But ya'. Love ya'll. 333**

**WITHOUT FURTHER...UHH...WAITING, HERE'S THE FOURTH CHAPTER, YAH? ;D**

- Saving Me** -**

_Chapter 4:_

_Hot Showers_

**Show me what it's like**

**To be the last one standing**

**And teach me wrong from right**

**And I'll show you what I can be**

My ass still hurt the next morning. I didn't want to get up. I just wanted to sleep, but at the same time I couldn't wait to get out of there. Not that I was looking forward to school, but...it felt weird to be at my house now, just living there as if nothing had happened. I would have left the night before, but...after _that_, I didn't have the strength. Nor the will to move. Somehow I'd made it into my room and then immediately I'd passed out. I was still filthy, sore all over, and had several bruises covering my body.

I don't know how long I laid in bed once I'd woken up before actually getting _out_ of bed. I'd woken up before my alarm had the chance to go off, so I wasn't going to run late. I was actually still thinking of just skipping school that day. In my opinion, I had a pretty damn good reason to.

For some reason I'd never expected to get raped by my father. I guess...it's just not really something you could imagine your own father doing to you, no matter how drunk and angry he got, or how irresponsible and messed up in the head he was. I mean, I suppose I'd thought about the possibility of it once or twice before, but...fuck. I just didn't think it would actually happen.

I let out a long sigh into my pillow-I was laying on my stomach on my bed, under the covers. At least he hadn't come back for more. But that made me wonder...would he later? Would he fuck me over again the next time he got drunk, or maybe just when he got bored? I frowned at the thought and sighed shakily, closing my eyes. I sat like that for a moment or two, trying to rid my mind of those thoughts. Finally, though, I stretched out as much as I could without it hurting too bad and opened my eyes, then sat up. I really didn't want to think about that. But something told me I should. To prepare for it. Or, hopefully, to avoid it.

With droopy eyes I scanned over my room, noting the clothes, books, and papers that were thrown everywhere. I spotted some empty cigarette boxes and what had been bottles of beer in the corner, too. With a slight feeling of...hopelessness, I looked back down and ran a hand through my mop of hair, letting the blanket slide off of my shoulders and land on my bed as I did so. I suddenly felt very bare and exposed when I did that. A shiver ran through me and I tried to wrap my arms around myself, but a cry of pain escaped me before I had the chance to stop it, and I found that it was impossible to move my left arm all of a sudden. Oh. And it hurt like hell.

Fuck. That's right. It was broken. Frowning, I carefully moved to the end of my bed and slowly stood up. I hissed in pain as I did so, but ignored it for the most part and hurried to cover myself. However, once I'd found some semi-clean clothes to wear I realized I really needed to take a shower. Sighing, I grabbed the clothes with my right hand and took them with me as I walked over to my door. My left arm hung limply and painfully at my side. The old man who had broken said arm was probably still asleep, so I could just walk across the hall to the bathroom and shower...but I peeked out the door and made sure he wasn't there, just in case. I was naked, and...I didn't want to be in front of him like that. Never again. I could hear him snoring lightly from the living room, though, so with that I opened my door fully and walked across to the bathroom, quickly closing the door behind me. I thought about my next move for only a moment before locking the door, even though I wasn't planning on taking a very long shower.

I dropped my clothes on the floor and turned the shower on. Another shiver ran through my body, shaking it violently. Once the water from the shower had warmed up a bit, I stepped in and closed the shower curtain. My skin jumped when the water first hit it, but I quickly eased into the warmth. I let out a sigh and closed my eyes, stepping under the shower hose completely. The water drenched me from head to toe. It soaked my hair completely so that my bangs stuck to my face, and the heat reduced the tension in my muscles. It felt relaxing, soothing. And I desperately needed that right then. Especially if I was even going to _think_ about going to school. Hell, I might just leave the house and decide to skip. But what was I gonna do about my arm? I couldn't just let it heal on its own without any help at all. It wouldn't heal right. The bone would be all crooked and shit and something told me it would hurt like hell.

Damn. I hadn't remembered how much I loved the shower. It made me temporarily forget about my worries, completely soaking me in the warm water, like a blanket that was being put over me to keep me warm.

But suddenly it wasn't hot enough. I frowned, opening my eyes slightly under the water. It took a moment for them to get used to it, and when they did I reached a hand forward, turning the shower nob further towards 'hot'. I let my arm drop and closed my eyes again. But once they were shut, something flashed through my vision. I recognized it immediately, and it made my eyes shoot right back open in panic. They stung when I did so, since they were still under the water and it was hotter now. I cussed and closed them again, stumbling back as a hand reached up to my face to shield them. And then there was that frightening image again, causing my eyes to open once more.

Screaming. I could hear screaming. I could see the blurred image of a man, moving back and forth, back and forth...I could see blood. I could feel the same tears I'd felt the night before, streaming down my face...only now it was water from the shower. Not tears. Not yet.

My breathing had quickened. I wasn't exactly sure when, wasn't exactly sure why. My heart pounded loudly in my chest. The water that was dripping down my body no longer felt soothing, nor cleansing...rather it reminded me of how filthy I was. Reminded me of how it felt to have those hands running along my bare skin, touching me, torturing me...

Anger and impatience was rising within me. I stepped forward, noting that I was back under the running water but I didn't care. It needed to be hotter. I turned the shower nob so that the water was a great deal hotter, and I hissed when it landed hot on my skin. But I only retreated slightly before drenching myself in it. It made it kinda hard to breathe, since whenever I inhaled from my nose all it sucked up was water, not air. But I didn't care right then. I didn't pay attention to that.

It wasn't enough. The water wasn't enough. I looked around for soap and realized there was none. But there was a bottle of shampoo. I picked it up and with difficulty, because of my one broken arm, squeezed however much I could out of it-which wasn't much-with one hand. I rubbed it all over myself, and it became all bubbly and soapy. Most of it rinsed off of me quickly, due to the water.

I still felt as filthy as a whore.

I was very angry now. I was getting frustrated and upset, so I reached forward and turned the shower nob as hot as it could go-surely that would get me cleaner. It felt like I was being boiled alive. Stuck in an oven filled with water to burn and die. And it felt like that's what I was going to do. Die. I knew I was getting bad burns. I had to be. But I didn't turn off the water. I began rubbing at my skin again, to help the water work better. Rubbing quickly turned into scratching, which soon became violent. I scratched so hard it was like I was trying to get the skin off rather than just get it clean. It felt like that was the only way to _get_ clean.

Before I knew it, my left arm was not only broken, but now it was bleeding, too. I wasn't even sure when it had started bleeding, but it was. Everything hurt like hell. Burned like hell. Heh. That was an ironic saying.

I was panting now. It hurt. Fuck, it hurt. Blood was now accompanying the water down the drain. But I wasn't _clean_ yet. I had...to get clean. I hated feeling so filthy. But now I couldn't even breathe. There was so much steam, and standing right under the boiling hot water coming from the shower head was becoming unbearable. I stayed under the water, though. For some reason I just couldn't get myself to move. Not yet.

That was when I heard ringing in my ears. That got me worried. Extremely worried, cuz' it sounded all too real. _ Maybe I really should get out of the shower..._

And then I realized what the ringing sound was. It was my alarm clock. With a shaky hand I reached forward, grabbing blindly for the shower nob. I gasped when my hand kept slipping off of it, but finally I was able to hold onto it long enough to turn it. First I was only able to turn it a bit, just able to reduce some of the heat and pressure that was scathing my skin. It felt so good and so terrible at the same time. Because it wasn't enough. My body was begging for more. No, it was desperately _needing_ more of that relief. With a slippery hand I was able to turn the nob on cold, and I gasped when the cool water hit me. It was freezing, compared to the hot water from merely moments ago. My body had an odd reaction. It spasmed, twitched, and violent shivers ran through me several times. It felt so good but at the same time it hurt like hell. Anything did, right then.

The cool water chased away the heat, gave me air to breathe, felt like ice on my skin after I'd been completely scorched. But I didn't leave it on for long. I could still hear my alarm clock in the distance, and it was bugging me. Plus, I knew it would wake my dad up. Which had me thinking, 'oh shit'. I turned the shower knob completely, causing the water to stop. I was still panting, though not quite gasping for air anymore. I stood like that, my hand still on the shower knob, my body weight leaning on that arm and keeping me up, for quite some time.

Exhausted. That was how I felt. A series of pain had fully taken over my body by now, and it felt positively terrible. I felt like collapsing. The only thing that was keeping me conscious at this point was the ringing in my ears. It just kept on ringing, ringing...

Slowly, and carefully, I pulled back the shower curtain and lifted one leg out of the shower with a hiss of pain. I bit down on my lower lip hard, so I wouldn't scream as I moved my entire body out of the shower. My eyes crashed shut and shot open, my vision was blurry and I felt like I was going to keel over and die. But in the background I could still hear that God forsaken ringing.

I felt like...I wasn't fully aware of my surroundings and situations when I moved. It was surreal. Like I was slipping in and out of awareness, and I just didn't have the capacity at that moment to care...or to even _think_ of caring.

I grabbed a towel, not even bothering with my clothes as I wrapped it around my lower half with some trouble. I could faintly hear something else, too. It sounded like a voice. An angry voice. My hand and fingers kept slipping on the doorknob as I tried hard to unlock it, and once I had I viciously turned the knob and pushed the door open. I felt incredibly dizzy and my vision was blacking in and out, my breathing completely uneven as I stumbled across the hall and into my room. Once I spotted the alarm clock that was still _ringing_, and _ringing_, I nearly lunged after it, almost tripping over several things in the process. My fist slapped down onto it harshly, and I hissed in pain.

But the ringing stopped. It wasn't plaguing my ears anymore. It was silent. Dead.

I frowned at that thought, for some reason, but I didn't have much time to contemplate the life and death of my alarm clock, cuz' I was about to pass out and I could hear my father yelling from the other room. I stumbled back over to my door, struggling to keep the towel around myself and even keep standing. I fell against the door, having successfully shut it now, but at the same time causing even more pain to myself. But at that point it hurt so much I hardly noticed when more was added on.

I wasn't sure when it had happened, but I felt the ground underneath not just my feet, but my entire body. My point of view was now me looking up from the floor. I didn't know what position I was in, I was hardly aware of my surroundings anymore, and as the pain and exhaustion got worse and overtook me, all I could think was;

_The ringing is gone. I wonder if Sora can hear the ringing._

-TIMESKIP-

Darkness. That's what I could see when I regained consciousness. Though I'd thought, before, that I had already woken up, thanks to the dreams. Or, nightmares, really. But oh, well.

My whole body ached. And burned. It still felt like I was on fire. It was uncomfortable and it hurt. It made me sit up with a loud, pained groan, though it was hard to push myself up off of the ground with just one arm. By the time I was on my hand and knees, it felt as if I had gotten really bad carpet burns or something. Except all over my body. And ten times worse. I managed to sit up straight on my knees, and finally I stood. I felt horrible, like I was about to die, but I hoped that was an exaggeration. I don't know why I should fear death. I had nothing to live for. But when I thought about dying, it scared me, as if I _did_ have something to live for after all. Eh. Maybe it was a subconscious thing. Or maybe I was afraid of where I would go. I dunno. I wasn't even sure if I would _go_ anywhere...does anybody really know?

I braced myself against my closed door and searched around with my hand for the light switch on the wall. To do this I had to lean on my bad arm against the door, which had tears pricking my eyes. Finally I found the light switch and I immediately shifted so that I was on my other arm. My broken arm still stung with pain after that, but my whole body was in pain, really, so I didn't really separate it from the rest.

My turquoise eyes glanced at the alarm clock sitting on my side table. 8:30 p.m. Damn, I'd been asleep for a long time. A humorless chuckle erupted and escaped through my lips. That damn alarm clock. It'd basically driven me crazy right before I'd passed out completely. That ringing...

I frowned when Sora popped into my head. Like...very suddenly. That was...weird. And random. Why was I thinking of Sora all of a sudden? The ringing alarm clock had reminded me of him...but...why...?

And then I remembered, and I felt even more confused. I remembered my thoughts from right before I'd gone unconscious. '_I wonder if Sora could hear the ringing'_. Fuck. Now I really felt like a crazy man. Why the hell had I been wondering whether or not Sora had heard the ringing? Of course he hadn't! It had just been my alarm clock. Why had I wondered that?

Now that I thought about it, I wasn't quite sure why I had gotten so upset when my alarm clock kept ringing in my ears in the first place. An alarm clock. Wasn't that big a deal. But when one thought linked to another...alarm clock...alarm...warning...danger...repetitive beeping sound...getting louder and louder...sirens...police sirens...police cars...

And then my thoughts traced right back to the terrible memories of the police cars that _I_ had seen, up close and personal, and the sirens that had rung in my ears for days-even weeks-afterward. Mmkay...so...police sirens. What the hell did that have to do with Sor-

...shit. Of course. Sora looked like _him_. _That's_ why I'd thought of him. Geez, how screwed up could my mind get? But I guess...it DID make sense. Kind of. I mean...since they looked so alike...I was bound to be reminded of of _him_ when I thought of and/or saw Sora.

Guh. All these thoughts were mixing up in my brain and becoming one; like some freaky psychiatrist, I was putting the pieces together like a puzzle. And although it should have given me relief, it didn't. It only made me more anxious. Not because I _could_ put the pieces together and connect the dots, but because of _why_ they connected. I didn't want Sora to remind me of 'him'. I didn't want those memories coming back every time I saw Sora. I didn't even want to associate the two. It was...scary.

-TIMESKIP-

The first thing I noticed when I got to school was that Riku wasn't there. I was a bit disappointed at first, because I always looked forward to seeing him there, but it was okay, because he was late sometimes, so I could wait. But when first period started he still wasn't there. And after second period, still not there. Even at lunch he wasn't there. That's when I really started getting worried. Well, first I was worried. Then I thought...'well, guys like Riku are bound to skip school every now and then. It's probably no big deal to him'. But I didn't like viewing Riku as just 'one of those guys', because he was so much more than that...

So anyway, I tried to excuse it as him just skipping, and that made me think that later I'd have to scold him for it, but for some reason I couldn't shake the weird feeling that it..._wasn't_ just that. Like something was...wrong.

It bugged me all day long. I just couldn't...shake it. Riku didn't have a cellphone, so I couldn't call him, because he hadn't given me his home phone, either. In fact, he'd blatantly refused to do so, so...there was really no way for me to contact him while I was at school, and he...wasn't.

I frowned a lot that day, which was weird for me. Pouting was probably a more appropriate word for what I was doing...because it was kind of pathetic. I was probably making too big a deal out of Riku not showing up, but...I felt like a kicked puppy. I was worried, but at the same time, I had a feeling of...like he didn't want to see me badly enough to show up to school. I know it was...ridiculous, I guess, but that's what I was thinking. I felt like a little schoolgirl...albeit I don't normally _mind_ being viewed as a schoolgirl, but this was different. I think...I had a crush on Riku. And when I had a crush on someone, I really _did_ act like a little schoolgirl.

Oh my gosh! I was crushing on Riku! Wow. He was like...one of those bad boys, and I was like one of the good girls, and we were slowly falling for each other, just like in the movies! I got giggly just thinking about it! But then, I couldn't get ahead of myself...I didn't know that _he_ was crushing on _me_. What if the feelings were only one-way? This suddenly made me very nervous and anxious, as anyone gets while crushing on someone, and I wanted to ask him as soon as possible but at the same time I was scared to. Because if he rejected me...I'd be crushed.

So after a whole day of obsessing over my newly-discovered crush on Riku, I went home to obsess over it even more. I flung open the door and shouted out as loudly as I could,

"I'M HOOOOME!"

I threw off my shoes so that they hit the wall and then fell to the floor, and I slung my backpack somewhere random carelessly. I then marched into the kitchen to find my mom, but when she wasn't there I headed back into the hall and then into the living room. I saw her there, napping on the couch. I chuckled and rolled my eyes before bounding over to her.

"Moooom," I whispered loudly, poking her shoulder. She didn't do anything, so I huffed and sat down next to her. I poked her again, harder this time. "Mooooom." Louder, almost using my normal voice now. She still didn't wake up. With a slightly impatient huff, I yelled; "MOOOOOM!" and she fell off the couch with a yelp, which caused me to do the same. "Ow..." I moaned, rubbing my bum.

"Sora! Goodness, boy, you scared me half to death!" At first she sounded exasperated, but when our eyes met we both started laughing. I stood and helped her up, grinning, and once she got up she put her hands on her hips and cocked them to the side. "So what's up, hun?" she asked, and I bit my lip a bit shyly at first, at the thought of Riku, but then I remembered why I'd wanted to talk to her, and I slowly frowned.

"I'm crushing on Riku," I blurted out, and my mom blinked before grinning.

"You mean the really cute, silver-haired one?"

"YEAH!" I nodded eagerly, getting excited as she did, and before I knew it we were holding hands and jumping up and down.

"AIEEEE~! My little Sora-bunny is crushing on a BOY!" she squealed, and again, I nodded eagerly.

"TOTALLY!" But then I faltered a little. "But...I don't know if he likes me back," I pouted. We stopped bouncing and she looked at me thoughtfully.

"Does he smile at you a lot?"

"Err...well, when he smiles it's usually at me, yeah."

"Do you ever catch him staring at you?" I had to think about this for a moment, but then I nodded.

"Yeah!"

She grinned. "Has he been responding positively to your signals?"

I gave her a confused look. "...huh?"

She blinked. "The signals you've been giving him...has he been responding to them in a good way?" Now _I_ was the one blinking. She gave me a look of disbelief. "Sora, HUNNY, I have GOT to teach you some things!" Now I was desperate and I nodded.

"Please teach me!" She nodded back and we sat down on the couch, holding hands.

"Okay, first of all, you have to ace 'the look'."

"The look?" I echoed. She nodded.

"Yes, hun." My mom proceeded to teach me 'the look', and it was about twenty minutes before I got it, but when I finally did, she moved on to tell me about the wink, body language, flirting, laughing at everything he said, stretching in a tempting way, and...a whole lot of other things that took me a long time to remember. In the end, I was ready to figure out whether or not Riku liked me or not in the morning...that is, if he showed up at school.


End file.
